Honeymoonous Interruptous
by Quinis
Summary: Look at that title. Someone's honeymoon is about to get interrupted. By a group of time travelling family members at an inconvenient time.


**Notes:** Just a little idea which popped into my head. I wanted to take a short break from writing chapters and just do a one-shot. A short, slightly ridiculous one-shot (there's inconvenient time travel - look at the title).

* * *

 **Honeymoonous Interruptous**

Talia Al Ghul had been spotted just outside of Gotham and Batman wasn't going to let her get away with whatever she had planned. He confronted her with Nightwing and Robin on one side and Red Robin and Red Hood on the other.

Damian let out a shy and muted, "mother." Nightwing stepped closer to the little, hooded Robin who was the focus of Talia's rant.

Batman was barely paying attention. It was all things he had heard before about _how his way wouldn't work in the long run and how he had exposed Damian to 'that circus trash' who had corrupted him_.

"How about we see where your 'mission' lands you?" Talia said pulling out some kind of orb device.

"Look out!" Red Robin cried out as a white flash blinded them.

"Little late for that!" Red Hood snarled back in a shout.

* * *

Damian stared at the golden band around his finger. He still couldn't believe it was there. He replayed the events of that day over and over in his mind, grinning madly as he did.

His new wife sighed.

"Are you going to stare at that all night?" she asked. "Or are you going to make progress with... consummating this marriage?"

Damian pulled his eyes from the ring to the tanned skin of the naked woman reclining on her belly next to him. Her alien green eyes glinted of mischief and a smile danced upon her lips.

He wrapped her in an embrace, his heart feeling like it was going to jump out of his chest.

They were quickly pulled apart as there was a white flash and six people appeared in their room to interrupt their private time.

Mar'i's mouth dropped open and Damian quickly pulled the sheets up to cover her body as she sat up to stare.

"Oh my," Nightwing muttered as he blushed and covered Robin's eyes.

"Whoa," Red Robin commented, looking just as embarrassed.

Red Hood snorted while Batman pointedly ignored them.

"And what was the point of this Talia?" he said to the woman standing on the other side of the room.

Talia looked frustrated and annoyed, tapping at the orb as if that could fix whatever had gone wrong.

"What do we do about them?" Robin asked Batman, pointing at the staring couple.

"Ignore them," Batman said, shifting into a battle stance. "But don't let them get injured."

"I can't believe it," Mar'i muttered. "They actually found a way to ruin the first night of our honeymoon."

Damian groaned and dropped his head down in defeat. That called it; they weren't consummating this marriage tonight.

" _Mazel tov_ ," Red Hood commented.

"Thanks," Mar'i responded dryly, pulling the sheets tightly around her chest. Her black hair pillowed around her face and shoulders as she stood up. "I'm going to make a phone call."

"At least they didn't plan it," Damian sighed as he ran a hand through his short, rugged hair.

Mar'i gave a huff as she walked out of the suite bedroom into the lounge beyond.

"Okay, honestly, why are you here?" Damian sighed at the group.

"You do not get to question-"

"Shut up, Talia. Either explain or find a way out."

"You disrespect me-"

"I do. Unless you are heading back to your time, don't speak!" Damian barked at her. He stood up, fixing the remaining sheet around his waist.

"You-" Talia was furious but still when silent when Damian held up a finger to silence her. He stood his full height, which was almost equal to Batman's height. Without a shirt, they were able to see the fine layer of muscle contract under his skin.

He was obviously a fighter.

Nightwing was frozen in shock, his mind putting the pieces together.

* * *

Batman didn't know what to think about this strange man. The fact that he managed to silent Talia without getting into a physical fight was impressive. There were very few people who could manage to look imposing while naked with only a sheet covering their privates.

"So, you are married to a Tamaranean?" Red Hood said. "That's surprising."

"How so?" Damian questioned with a raised eyebrow. He expected something like 'who could imagine Damian Wayne marrying? Let alone an alien?'

Instead, Red Hood replied, "the only Tamaranean I know of is Kori and she's not likely to bring any 'friends' to Earth anytime soon."

That was unexpected.

"That is true," Damian hedged around the comment.

"Is there something wrong with being Tamaranean?" Mar'i questioned. She had found an outfit outside, the long purple dress with the slit up the left leg which she had worn during the plane ride here.

"Not at all. I was just wondering how you got to Earth," Red Hood commented.

"I was born here."

Red Hood looked confused for a few moments.

"But, that's not..." he muttered as his gaze slid from Mar'i to Nightwing. "Oh ho. Nicely done, 'Wing."

That seemed to snap Nightwing out of his daze with a surprised and confused, "Excuse me?" He was a good actor when he needed to be.

Mar'i rolled her eyes and tossed a pair of pants at Damian, who caught them reflexively.

"Everyone outside," she ordered pointing out the door. She had to almost push a few of them out but those who had 'clued in'; basically Nightwing and Red Hood, helped get the others moving.

"So, do Dick and Kori get back together?" Red Hood asked.

"Hood! We're not here to learn about our futures. We just need to get back," Red Robin pointed out. "Talia, what is that device?"

"It's rubbish," Talia stated. "It was supposed to take us to Batman's future."

Nightwing gave her an unimpressed look, one which Mar'i mirrored until there was an audible breath sucked in at the bedroom door.

Damian stood there, wearing a tank top and pants and a caught expression.

"You brought it, didn't you?" Mar'i said, crossing her arms and glaring. Her eyes flared up and her hair flickered with purple flame.

"It's not like I planned to go out, it's just in case something happens." Damian sighed and motioned towards the extras that crashed their honeymoon. "Because, with our luck, something always happens."

"I still have a feeling someone planned this," Mar'i muttered with a glare at Nightwing.

"Wasn't me," Nightwing said with a shrug. "Although, I'm probably not the most thrilled with this union." The thought of it made him screw up his face. However, that could have been because both adults of this married couple were kids in his time. His daughter and his Robin.

"Nah, that's Talia," Damian responded flippantly. He was used to disappointing his mother by now.

However, Robin flinched and his eyes grew wide as Talia finally seemed to pay the couple some attention.

"What possible reason could I have for wasting my time with this union?" she demanded to know.

Damian coughed to cover how humorous he found her indignant reaction. He smirked at his wife from behind his hand. To be able to tell his mother and see the look on her face!

Mar'i's shoulders shook from suppressed giggles.

"Firstly, Father is ecstatic about this," Damian said. "And I thought you were pretty much against anything that Father seemed to derive happiness from." He saw their identities dawn on Batman's face while Nightwing shook his head with a resigned sigh. Damian guessed that Nightwing already knew what Bruce's reaction to their children's union was; he was being his smug self about it. Damian had heard Grayson describe it as _'being a troll'_ about it. It sounded about right, although Damian hadn't witnessed any of his father's behaviour. "Secondly, the number of assassins you've sent after me and my wife."

 _My wife._ It was almost surreal to say and he couldn't help grinning at her.

"Wait, are you...?" Red Robin couldn't even finish that sentence as horrified realisation appeared on his face.

"Damian?" Batman questioned. Damian could hear the wonder behind it.

"Wow," he stated. "Took you a while. On that note, my wallet with my ID was sitting on the bedside table; did no one think about taking a look?"

"A Tamaranean, son?" Batman questioned, slightly put off by his son's choice in companion.

"I can't believe it! Why would you... and with an alien no less!" There was the rage inducing reaction from his mother that Damian had been waiting for.

"I've seen her take down 20 armed men with a smile and a wave. Better question, why wouldn't I marry her?"

"Really?" Robin asked Mar'i with interest while Nightwing looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

"I had hooked up the lights to a remote switch I carried and when they jumped me, I panicked and angered them, flicked off the lights and then jumped out of the way. They kind of... shot each other?" Mar'i explained, face going red with embarrassment. "It was the best solution I could think of at the time." She glared at Damian. "And dad grounded me for a week for that stunt."

"Only a week?" Nightwing choked out.

"I'm really hard to keep grounded?" Mar'i countered with a nervous smile.

"I'd bet," Red Hood commented.

"That's... and she's..." It still wasn't computing for Red Robin. "How?"

"Did you know it's possible for a woman to not know she's pregnant until she's in labour?" Mar'i asked.

"Uh... how is that possible?" Red Hood questioned.

Nightwing swallowed nervously. Because he did know. Even with protection, somehow Kori had ended up pregnant. Somehow, they had missed it. The small amount of weight she gained was attributed to eating at lot of Earth's food. She didn't have any bad periods of sickness. Most of the symptoms were mild and explained away.

Until Kori had frozen up in battle, her body 'betraying' her as her stomach muscles painfully twisted. Dick had gotten her out while the rest of the group continued fighting, for a shocking surprise delivery once he got her to safety.

In a hasty decision, brought on by the suddenness of the situation, Dick and Kori kept the child a secret.

"You have a kid?" Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin and Batman all cried in surprise when Nightwing explained this. They had realised that Mar'i was probably related to Dick Grayson, however, they didn't realise this meant that he already had a daughter in their time. Batman's cry also held a scolding tone.

"Tch, to be expected," Talia snorted.

"And what do you mean by that?" Nightwing countered with a glare. He crossed his arms and glared at her.

"Talia. Shut up," Damian stated flatly. He really didn't need a fight breaking out in here. It was supposed to be his honeymoon, his vacation from family and time with only his wife.

"Why 'Talia'?" Red Robin asked curiously. Damian didn't understand. "I mean, you've always called her 'mother'. Why are you calling her by her name now?"

"Uh..." Damian didn't want to explain that one. His 'mother' hadn't deserved the title since she had arranged his death and failed to prevent it. She might care for him, in her own way, but she was determined and dedicated to her own goals. Those goals took priority over everything, even her son.

The other people around him... Damian glanced at Mar'i and she shook her head.

"Really?" he questioned.

"When you, you know... Dad tossed his phone at the wall, shattering it. I don't know how he'll take the news right now. He might do something... crazy," she whispered to him.

Grayson and the rest of the family wouldn't sacrifice him. Not even if he ordered them to (idiots).

Mar'i had told him that Grayson hadn't handled Robin's death upon an enemy's sword well all those years ago.

"Okay, I get it," he sighed. "No spoilers," he told the group.

Red Robin looked disappointed. Robin frowned. Batman's lips twisted downwards. Red Hood barked a laugh while Nightwing shrugged.

"Well, what did you expect?" Nightwing commented with a grin. "Besides, I've been spoiled enough..."

"Your girl does have good taste though," Red Hood commented. "Tell me, did you marry him for the money, the looks or the murder-y rages?"

"I do wonder how murder-y rages translate in bed-"

"MAR'I!" two equally horrified voices shouted in unison. Damian's face wasn't the flaming red Nightwing's was but Damian still looked ready for the ground to swallow him whole.

* * *

Talia was furious. Nothing was going to plan!

"There's an easy way to fix this," she decided, unsheathing a rather long knife. She aimed for the girl her son was supposedly going to marry in the future; however, not if she had anything to say about it! "Son, it's time to learn loss."

"What? Whoa." Damian floundered around her like a weakling, leaving Talia with a clear path to the woman.

Talia slashed, aiming for the stomach.

Mar'i leapt and Talia felt her alien warm hands press to her head as she flipped over her head.

 _Disgusting circus folk._

She twisted and aimed the blade where the woman would have to land, only to hit air.

"What the?" She only had time to make out a crashing sound and pain before everything went blissfully dark.

* * *

Damian stood above Talia's unconscious body, holding what was left of the large vase he had shattered over her head. His wife hovered near the ceiling, a trail of purple flame behind her.

"Damian, no offence, but I think I now know why Dad doesn't like your mother."

Damian shrugged. "You have the mother-in-law from hell, how is this different from any other marriage?"

Red Hood snorted another laugh.

"Oh, I like you two. How long do I have to wait to meet you?" He directed his question up to Mar'i.

Mar'i shrugged.

"It could be different for your timeline. Especially since you know I exist."

"Jason's not meeting you," Nightwing said.

"I'll ask Kori then," Red Hood countered. "Do you two have some kind of joint-custody thing or something? Just so I know which weeks would be good to ask."

"Shut up, Jason."

"Make me, 'Wing."

The almost-fight was interrupted when Damian tossed the orb-device into Red Hood's hands.

"Do you think you can work it?" he asked.

Red Hood gave the man a baffled look. He internally cursed that the little Robin brat was going to be just taller than him; he really thought he would get to be the tallest. His gaze slid from Damian to the orb. He tilted it. Some of the symbols looked familiar; it was like something Talia showed him years ago.

"Yeah, I think I can get us home," he commented.

"Yes!" Nightwing cheered.

"Excellent," Batman praised.

Red Hood ignored the glowing feeling in his chest and focused on setting it up.

Damian pulled Talia's body over to them and gave them a relieved look.

"Great. See you later in this time. In two weeks from now. No more crashing this honeymoon."

"Consider yourselves warned," Mar'i smirked, wrapping her arms around Damian's shoulders.

Robin cringed.

"Get us out of here!" he said to Red Hood.

* * *

Damian breathed a sigh of relief as the room emptied of light and the visitors from the past were gone. The last thing he thought he would be doing on his honeymoon was dealing with family interruptions.

* * *

Years in the past, Batman and his group appeared just outside Gotham with an unconscious Talia at their feet.

"Did it!" Red Hood commented, tossing the orb to Batman. "Here, you can deal with it now." Artifacts like that were more trouble than they were worth.

"Excellent," Nightwing sighed with relief. "I'm clocking off."

"Going to call your daughter?" Batman asked.

The group froze. Nightwing stiffened.

"Forget about it, okay?" Nightwing ordered them. "I'm not letting her near any of this," he waved his hand out, indicating the costumes and vigilante stuff.

"I don't think you have a choice," Red Robin said. "After all, she's going to marry Damian."

"Damian and Mar'i, sittin' in a tree!" Red Hood began to sing. "K-I-SS-"

"You're DEAD, HOOD! Dead! You hear me?" Damian bellowed, rushing at Red Hood with a sword.

Red Hood cackled as he bolted away. Red Robin wandered off and Nightwing had vanished too.

Batman looked around the empty area and then at the unconscious Talia at his feet.

Of course his kids would leave him with all the work. He could see the ninjas coming now.

"Ungrateful brats."


End file.
